I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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