i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
