Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize