last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
