they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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