people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
