I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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