Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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