Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
