Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
wow bdsm is so cute
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
