Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
