i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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