Little spoons don't ask big questions
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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