Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
