Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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