I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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