My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize