I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
