Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
