How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
