Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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