Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
