my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
