So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
