Christians are straight up FREAKS
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
