dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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