He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
