My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
