She's JV to your varsity
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
