I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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