your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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