i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize