if only i could text you this smell
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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