oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize
