I don't think brook has ever known best
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
