Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
