so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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