ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
