There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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