My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
