Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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