The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We need a shit load of segways right now
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
