I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
