How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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