i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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