But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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