Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize