I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
