Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
