I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I FOUND THE LEGS
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
