using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
