I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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