New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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