This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
