he puts the penis in happiness.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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