He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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