I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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